I woke up today feeling much better.   I have a better understanding of what brought me to such a bad place. Yesterday was the culmination of  2 weeks of a bit of depression coming together with a really bad afternoon that ended with a chaotic night.
My childhood was one filled with a lot of rejection and a ton of negative thoughts about myself.  I gave my life to the Lord at age 15 and I can say that He changed my life.  Very slowly all those negative thoughts began to be replaced by positive ones.   Very slowly the rejection I felt started to come at me less and less.   The person I am now is so incredibly different then the person I was then.  Yes, I still look similar and have the same personality.   But, the inside has changed.  The way I feel about myself and the way I see the world around me is different in a great way.    Unfortunately though, every once in a while, those feelings come back and creep up on me.   A few weeks back, I became overwhelmed with so much doubt. Little by little I began doubting my ability to nurture my children, to make a good meal, to clean a house, to grow a tomato plant.....just about everything.   As the negativity began to fill my mind and heart, it also started seeping out of my mouth.   I became a negative wife and mom.

The Bible has a lot to say about our mouths, 

our lips, our tongues, for our speech betrays us. 

What is down in the well will come up in the bucket

                                             -Vance Havner

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, 

but that which is good to use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers

                                               -Ephesians 4:29

This continued for a few weeks until yesterday it became a perfect storm.  

So last night, after my mini breakdown, I prayed, and read the Bible and The Power of a Woman's Words.  I am sure you get why I read the 2nd one. :o)  
 I finally broke out of my slump.  

It felt so good to be overwhelmed by peace instead of negativity.   Gods word is powerful.

I came across that Family Circus comic last night.  It really was so timely.

Being a mom is super hard, fun, exhausting, crazy, overwhelming, exciting, adventurous, and many more adjectives.    On my best day it is a formable task to nurture my 5 wonderful kids 24/7.   On my worst day it is a an insurmountable mountain.

I am thankful that I am not alone on this journey.  I have family and friends who lift me up with encouraging words and understanding hearts, and a Lord who bears my burden so that I may be free.

A few quotes from The Power of a Woman's' Words 

So live that your wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip

                                    -Will Rogers

The reason a dog has so many friends is because he wags his tail instead of his tounge

                                             -Author Unknown

The deepest rivers flow with the least sound

                                                    -Quintus Curtius Rufus